Third Wheel Blues

We've all been there...Let's examine shall we?

A couple nights ago I was out with some friends seeing a few bands play at a bar in downtown Harrisonburg called The Blue Nile. We had just gotten our drinks and were forced into one of those weird social situations where we were sitting directly across a coffee table from these three underagers that we didn't know. I knew they were underage because of the large black X's placed upon their hands, making the current situation even funnier. As we sat there taunting them with our alcoholic beverages and living up our young adult evening, I couldn't help notice what was happening across the coffee table.

There was the guy we shall now call "Jack" and a brunette girl we will now call "Jill" all huddled together, kissing, holding hands, and playing cute little couple games on the couch. Next to them sat a blond girl we will call "Sally". For a second I thought, "Does Sally know these people beside her? They certainly aren't paying attention to her?" Then Jill asked Sally to grab something out of her purse. OMG! These girls are friends. "Bless little Sally's Lonely Heart..."

We have all been there at least once and if you haven't, consider yourself lucky. Or maybe you have been one of the people torturing your single friends over the years? Anyway, I thought to myself..."Did Sally know what she was getting into tonight? Did she KNOW she was going to be Jack and Jill's third wheel?" Most third wheel situations I have been forced into came on at random, i.e. you think you are going to have a nice evening with one of your best gal pals and she forgets to mention that she is bringing her boyfriend along. What can you do? Of course you love your friend and don't want to hurt her feelings because you are happy for her and her relationship but COME ON...a little warning would be nice.

I continued to watch these kids out of the corner of my eye thinking that maybe things would turn around for poor Sally. Sadly, I was wrong. Her friend continued to completely ignore her. Sally continued to sit next to Jack and Jill on the couch while they groped each other in public. I almost bought the poor sister a drink out of pity. She should AT LEAST get to drink while this is happening to her. Sally sat there looking uncomfortable and terribly mopey.

Here is my advice for these situations. Couples: chill the F*** out. I have a few good friends who are couples that I have no problem going out with because they don't make anything awkward. If you have a third wheel tagging along with you for the evening that YOU invited to come, show some respect for their feelings and save it for the end of the night. Single People: If you find yourself in one of these dreadful situations, don't feel you have to sit there and take it. Go to the bar and find someone, ANYONE to talk to. I guarantee they will understand AND you might just make a new friend. Or you can avoid these situations all together and bring someone along with you if you have enough warning. Either way don't let it ruin your night like poor Sally. You are already out looking fresh so you might as well TRY and have some fun. Stand strong.

Let's all just try and make third wheel situations as bearable as possible. Agreed? Don't be a Sally.